Knowing how to talk to girls and things to talk about with a girl is a crucial skill for guys to learn, especially if they want to know how to get a girlfriend. The art of conversation takes practice. Once you know what to talk about with a girl, a little charm and friendliness go a long way in connecting with her on a romantic level.
My age: 41
Instead of being shy, you are one step ahead when starting a conversation with that young lady you like. It can be presumably the most frightening and nerve-racking situation for most guys to deal with. To start with, having a good conversation gambit has been effective in spotting out the difference between striking and hitting out.
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.
At least this is what we have been told. There was a book written with that title awhile back and to me, it served to create the illusion that men and women are polar opposites in terms of species and have little hope of ever really understanding each other.
What this author did not realize is that men as individuals are very different from each other. The same is true with women. Not all women are alike. What makes each person wonderful is that they are individuals. They each have their own loves and hates, hopes and dreams.
I know this looks hopeless. If all women are different individuals with different tastes and ideas, how in the name of all things Holy can you learn to talk to each and every one of them?
Fear not! What I am about to share with you is a secret.
It is the secret of how to talk to anyone no matter who they are and to build interest and ultimately talk with them. Underneath the clothing of skin and bones, we are perfect people. We have crappy baggage and things in our past that haunt us but these things are not us and we know that. No one likes to be reminded of the bad parts of themselves or their painful past. What we are most proud of is who we are innately.
We are lady proud of the perfect person underneath. When you talk to a woman or a man or look for the perfect person and talk to him or her.
In some people it is easier to see this perfect person than in others, and in some it is so hidden by strange pseudo personalities and other weird baggage that it is almost absent. If the person you are talking to makes it too hard to access that perfect person underneath, move on. Practice this skill. Go to the supermarket or somewhere where you will have to interact with people. When you get to the lady out, find something you like about the checkout person.
I find that women love jewelry and take time and effort to choose and wear pieces that look nice. If you find a piece of jewelry on them and you comment favorably to them about it, you will be met with the person looking up and seeing you and not some nameless, faceless talk. They talk lady start feeling a little better about you. This is the easy part. All you have to be is a good listener and respond with things that are pertinent to the subject at hand. It really is a piece of cake.
For example, you have just commented favorably on a piece of jewelry or a sweater or scarf and the conversation has started. Generally they will tell you a little bit about the piece. Resist with all your might the impulse to start talking about yourself.
This conversation is all about her. If you keep this up each time you go through the checkout line, you will find that soon you are friends. From there an invitation for coffee is a perfect next step to get to know each other better. There is no quicker way to make someone hate your guts than to take an opposing viewpoint to theirs and then try to convince them that they are wrong.
This is a big step. If you do this, this will be your last date and you will have no one to blame but yourself. Instead find things that you agree on. If you disagree on politics, avoid that subject like a five day old burrito stub that you have just dug up from under the sofa because your talk comments on the subject will be just about as welcome.
Stick to the things you wholeheartedly agree on and you will be fine. Your adorable clerk is a woman. She has had her share of guys lady to cosy up to her and get close. Respect her by giving her space.
Trying to move in too close when she is not ready for that is a violation of her limits. To her this may mean that if you violate limits now, who knows what limits will be violated when she allows you into her world?
Brush your teeth and comb your hair. If you just had coffee and a cigarette, chew some gum or something! Pay a little attention to your wardrobe. If they do and do not want to talk to you because of them, they are not worth it anyway. Move on! There are many wonderful ladies out there who are looking for a caring and nice person like you.
Most people love gifts but there are times when gifts are unwelcome. She does not want to be put under an obligation and too many gifts make her feel that she now has to do something for you.
While this may sound great, it feels awful. Have you ever shown up at work and forgotten that it was pot luck day and you brought nothing? How did you feel? Did you go around telling everyone that you forgot it was pot talk day and then ate only chips? Did you sneak out the back and give the whole thing a miss because the obligation was just too much? Do you see what I mean? If you want to impress her, wash and clean your car. Ask her what kind of movie she likes or what she likes to eat and make reservations at a restaurant you know she will love.
Take time to create an evening that she lady find magical. What will impress her is the care you took and the respect you had for her to take that time.
Not all women are desirable just because they are women or because they are pretty. A pretty snake can still kill you and a woman who is negative, antagonistic, or passive aggressive also referred to as covertly hostile will make your life, and the life of any children you may have, miserable. Think ahead before getting serious. A warm and loving woman with a twinkle in her eye and a sense of humor is far more desirable than a pretty psycho.
Beauty can fade over time when it is only on the surface. Real beauty that you see when you see the perfect person underneath is forever. Life is a tough game and only someone who has integrity, compassion and commitment will be there for you when you really need her.
The others, if they are self centered or psycho will be long gone the minute you need a friend the most. It happens. If it is clear that she does not want a relationship, then ok. You are not wrong and neither is she. Perhaps you can be friends.
There you have it! The important information on how to talk to anyone.
Now go forth young Jedi warrior and use your power for good. I expect an invite to your wedding or at least send me a slice of the wedding cake!
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