Why is it so much easier to have sex than it is to talk about sex?

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We include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this , we may earn a small commission. Phone sex taps into what sexologist Rebecca Alvarez Story, founder of the pleasure product marketplace Bloomi , calls the most underutilized way to turn someone on: the ears. Phone sex operator Jessie Sage , co-host of Peepshow Podcast , adds that it can be a hot way to have sex with someone, like a Tinder match or former college classmate, without ruining the fantasy. What are you up to tonight?

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It might be awkward at first, but opening up about your needs and desires can transform your relationship. S ex is a life-affirming act, one of the most intimate things you can do with another person. But talking about it?

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For some reason, telling our partner what we want to change or try or stop in our sex lives is terrifying.

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According to Dr. Shagaga said. It can also be a sensitive issue if one has insecurities around their sexuality or body image. But fear not, there are ways to talk to your partner about sex and make it as seamless as possible.

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Here are some foolproof well, almost conversation starters to help you have the best sex of your life. Is this a good time? For example, your partner finishes before allowing you to orgasm and assumes sex is over after that.

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Or your partner is afraid to try oral sex, but you love it. Would you be willing to hear some ways you might be able to help me get more of those needs met?

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What do you think? Is that something we could start exploring together?

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So, you told your partner what you want to try, and everything seems fine and dandy now. But where do go from here?

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Shagaga explained that being honest, in all facets of your relationship, is key. Keep this communication up in the future.

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Or rather, you absolutely love it? Tell them!

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