Intellectual conversation topics Here are some popular intellectual conversation topics to get you started: Philosophical takes on everyday events Discussions about historic events Political analysis Psychological analysis of others Astronomy and the origins of the universe Existentialism, such as why we are here The deeper meaning of everyday things Analyzing the news Predictions about the future What drives us brings us purpose 1. Only some of those you come across in life will be. This guide is about how to figure out who is, and get past the shallow small talk with them so you can transition into more intellectual topics.
Years old: 24
Photo Credit: Taylor McCutchan. If this is a familiar story, you are not alone. It can be tempting to brush off a little thing like intellectual compatibility when everything else is so good. I mean, how often do you meet a guy who is super-cute and acts like a gentleman?! But the way you connect on an intellectual level—the way you think about and discuss ideas—is an important element of the relationship to consider. For my husband and me, exploring our intellectual compatibility was a big part of our dating relationship. Aside from being attracted to one another and sharing the same values, we wanted to know that we could daydream together and have shared pursuits.
They just want to talk about fluffy, superficial topics, which gets dull after a while.
Whenever I try to take things in a deeper direction no one bites. It's hard to precisely define what makes a conversation "deep" or "substantial", but you know one when you're having it. They just feel more mentally stimulating and fulfilling. Some typical "deep" areas are: Philosophical discussions of issues like free will, the institution of marriage, or even the cliched, "Is what you see as blue the same as what I see?
Talking about a more impersonal topic like politics or a hobby, but in a really in-depth, analytical way. If you like talking about deeper topics it's not that you need all your conversations to be intense or intellectual, but you'll get discouraged if it seems like there's no option to interact on that level at all.
It can make you doubt your relationship with someone when you feel like you can only engage with them on a more surface level, and have to repress a whole other side of yourself. I'll share some ideas on how you can get into more deep conversations overall, but there's no method that I know of to get any particular people at any particular time to want to have a more in-depth discussion. That really goes for most kinds of conversation. If someone really likes sailing there's no sure-fire way they can get into a conversation about it whenever they want.
There are a lot of reasons someone may not want to have a deeper conversation. They may not be in the mood. They may not think it's the right time and place. They may not care about that particular topic.
They may not have the background knowledge to talk about it properly. They may be capable of conversing deeply, but only do it with their partner or closest friends.
And although it sounds a bit snobby, I don't think it's unreasonable to say some people just aren't as deep or intellectual as others. When you're with someone who's also curious and thoughtful and likes to talk about deeper topics it's almost hard for the conversation not to go in that direction.
You don't have to force anything. If you tell several people you work as, say, a paramedic, some might reply with a, "Oh, I hate hospitals.
I don't think I could do that. This may not be the answer you were hoping for when you started on this article, but in my experience finding other 'deep' people is the simplest way to satisfy your urge to have more stimulating, cerebral conversations. For the most part there's no big trick to seeking them out. You've just got to meet more people and then try to get a sense of which ones veer towards having more in-depth interactions.
I'd say there's some relationship between education level and 'deepness', though it's anything but a perfect link. You can come across PhD's who are oddly vapid, and factory workers who have thought more deeply about philosophical questions than you ever have. You may be able to find events and meet ups which center around stimulating conversation. For example, a Meetup. If your current friends and colleagues don't seem interested in having in-depth conversations I find it's always going to be an uphill battle to try to get them to go that way.
Sometimes you can get them talking about something more substantial, but it's usually not as satisfying as you'd like it to be. They don't go deep enough, and it often feels like the conversation is going to revert to its default level at any second.
Or you may be able to go deeper on particular topics, but not all the ones you'd like e. It's just simpler to look for people who are more your style. On the link below you'll find a training series focused on how to feel at ease socially, even if you tend to overthink today.
It also covers how to avoid awkward silence, attract amazing friends, and why you don't need an "interesting life" to make interesting conversation. People who want to have more in-depth interactions usually complain that they try bringing up deeper topics, but no one is keen, or even looks at them funny. The thing is you've still got to try. That's just what everyone does in conversations.
They attempt to take them in directions they think would be interesting. Sometimes they get a response, sometimes they don't and they move on to something else. If one group of friends consistently doesn't care intellectual you try to bring up deeper topics it's a you may want to try with another group. It's the same as if you really wanted to talk about basketball and none of your co-workers seemed into it.
Like I said, there's no way to have deeper discussions on command, but some situations are more conducive to them than others. If you're pre-drinking at someone's apartment and everyone's making dumb jokes and can't focus on a thought for more than thirty secondsyou're probably out of luck. If you and some friends are driving somewhere or having coffee, they may be receptive if you bring up guy book you just finished, make an with about the nature of power in society, or ask them what they really have out of life.
There's a guideline that if you've just met someone you should ease into trying to have a deeper interaction. I do think it can be jarring to hit someone with a really thought-provoking question or observation within a minute of meeting them, especially if it's about a more personal topic. However, I don't believe you necessarily have to make half an hour of non-threatening small talk first either.
A lot of us can remember a time where we just met someone, were chatting about the usual topics, and then they took things in a deeper direction and we were happy to go with it. I with it comes down to the other person's personality, what types of has they like discussing, and whether they feel like talking about them with you. If you quickly get into a deep conversation with someone it's not that you skillfully molded the interaction so much as found someone who was already on the same. Again, it won't always work out but at least you can try. If it truly is your personality to want to talk about deeper subjects there's no shame in letting that show.
It's as valid a thing to want to talk about as anything else. Even if you have problems opening up to others it's usually not about every conversation. It's still possible to have a deep conversation about a personal topic you're comfortable with e. However, how you can get used to sharing more aspects of yourself with people it will open up further possibilities.
Some people discover that they can reliably have more meaty-than-usual conversations with a friend if they get them talking about their conversations. The first few times this happens it can feel great - "Normally we talk about day-to-day stuff, but now we're opening up to each intellectual and delving into our failed relationships. It creates too many unpleasant vibes when the conversation is always being pushed in that direction.
It may also unconsciously train you or them to be too quick guy bring up negative topics. I find if someone's really deprived of stimulating conversation they can feel they want to have nothing but deep, intellectual discussions, and that they hate more superficial topics.
In my how that's just the frustration talking.
In my experience even the deepest people are fine talking about more shallow fare, just as long as they can get their bare-minimum 'deepness' needs met. You may not need to ditch your entire 'shallow' social circle, just find one or two extra friends who you can meet your need to talk about more profound or brainy subjects. I'm Chris Macleod.
I've been writing about social skills for over ten years. I was shy, awkward, and lonely until my mid-twenties and created this site to be the kind of guide I wish I'd had at the time. I'm trained as a counselor.
There's a lot you can do to improve your social skills on your own - I wouldn't have made this site if I thought otherwise. Though I'm also a therapist and can offer in-depth, personalized help. I'm currently working with clients who live in Ontario, Canada:. Improving Your Overall Personality. Succeed Socially A free guide to getting past social awkwardness. Article continues below SPONSORED Free training: "How to double your social confidence in 5 minutes" On the link below you'll find a training series focused on how to feel at ease socially, even if you tend to overthink today.
About the author I'm Chris Macleod.
More About Me Contact Me. One-on-one support There's a lot you can do to improve your social skills on your own - I wouldn't have made this site if I thought otherwise. Making Friends.
Developmental Differences. The Process Of Improving. Getting Drained Easily. The Idea Of Having to Change.
Not Fitting Into The Norm.
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